If I hear one more person say "Just a few more days!" or anyone even remotely mention to me the fact that having this baby any sooner than Feb 18th is just not convenient for some reason, I will infact... claw their eyes out. No one is excluded from this rule including friends and family which normally I adore but at the moment pretty much everyone sans Connor is not immune to my wrath. Mind you I'm no baby about pain, I had Connor with a faulty epidural... ie I felt the entire operation once he passed my bellybutton on the right side. I also spent 3 hours in labor with him.. very.. very.. stuck. Honestly enough I'm not sure what hurts worst being cut open or having a baby stuck against your pelvic bone for three hours. In some ways I think the stuck part was worst as there is something biological inside of you that sort of tells you to go somewhere else when you realize someone is cutting you open and you are feeling each inch.
What I've found I cannot handle is the combination of stress and lack of sleep I've experienced over the last few weeks. Between the whole domain name drama, family drama, a baby that has kept me pretty well sick most of this pregnancy, and to be all honest with you the proceeding fear that I'll end up in yet another csection with faulty anesthesia I've been a little edgy the last few weeks regardless. Is it all worth it? ABSOLUTELY!!! Am I a happy camper? NO! Heh.. ok I have to laugh at myself a bit as I without any hesitation know I'm being difficult but seriously waking up almost every night of the week for three weeks with contractions which last anywhere from thirty minutes to four hours is downright frustrating. Last night we had a good hour of very painful.. though not quite breath taking contractions which honestly got me totally pumped up. The pain is awesome as I know the pain means it might be time! The part that really pisses me off is when it stops as I know I just spent another night with no sleep and no baby. Lets not even begin to mention how sore I know I'll be the next day after having contractions all night the day before. The sensation is similar to being kicked in the crotch repetitively all night and then attempting to get up and function the next day. Not to mention I have a two year old who is as happy as a clam to come into my room at 7:30am and announce to the world that the "SUN IS UP!" which is usually beyond adorable but about makes me grind my teeth at this point. Ok.. I still have to smile at him.. that is until I try to roll out of bed and the reality of the soreness hits me in every inch of my body. It's not even the pain that bothers me that much.. its the frustration.
SO I apologize in advance for any evil looks, bitchy comments, or grumpy remarks I might make to anyone in my general path for the next two weeks. I promise I'm usually a pretty happy person. I'm just a little preoccupied and a lot tired. I am well aware of how much this is all worth it (I'm more excited than you can imagine actually which only adds to my frustration.) and that its only 14 more days so please refrain from reminding me. Hold all congratulations and sympathies for my "suffering" until I'm in recovery after the csection please. Honestly until then I only ask for two things... sleep and for this baby to either come out or cease the contractions for just a few more days please.
With all that said I will leave you with this video. My last ultrasound which is really pretty neato. I promise I'll be back to normal here shortly. Actually I promise I'll be all smiles the moment we are on the way to the hospital. heh.