Tuesday, April 7, 2009

How would you handle your last months as a mother?

When the book, The Household Guide to Dying, arrived I shuttered at the title. Not so much that its a bad title but just the idea seems horrific. The book is a fictional account of a household advice column writer who finds out that she is dying of cancer. Delia the main character has a tight grip on her household and family and the thought of dying becomes almost a job to her as she seems determined to keep her household running even through the terrible end that will inevitably happen. As a mother even the thought of leaving my son is horrifying. I've thought about the possibility more than once and really what terrifies me most is would my son remember me if I left him now? How would things continue without me? I mean I know things and life would go on but I guess what I'm trying to say is everyone wants to feel there family is taken care of even if you leave, that's exactly what Delia wants for her family.

I'm not sure I could face death with the same humor and pure determination that Delia possesses. She goes about the whole process like its a job, laying out plans for her daughters, shopping for her own coffin, even giving her husband advice on remarrying. The whole novel is sort of a journey of acceptance and there are even little bits of humor mixed in. What really strikes you is the way Delia recounts her experiences so calm, so lyrical, even when you feel crying there is something comforting about the tone of the book and the way she describes her situations. The end chapter really struck a cord with me the most. I don't feel bad revealing the obvious as the last chapter is devoted to Delia's last moments and what she thinks and feels really is sort of surprising and really comforting all at once. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm deathly scared of dying and the calmness that Delia has throughout the entire novel is really quite inspiring.

It sounds all glum and gloom but seriously The Household Guide To Dying is a great read and sure you want to scream for it all to stop and for there to be a happy ending after all. You just can't help to fall in love with Delia and admire her straight. Thanks Mother-Talk for letting us know about the book! You can pick up your own copy on Amazon.

I'm giving away my copy of The Household Guide To Dying to one lucky reader!

To enter :

  • Leave a comment on this post. Check out The Household Guide To Dying and tell me what would you do for your family if you found out you were dying.
  • Make sure there is a way for me to contact you - if your email address is not on your profile or you are not a blogger you may leave it in your comment or email it to me directly (angelaandconnor at gmail dot com) We have had to disqualify a lot of potential winners as of late as many people do not have emails available in their profiles or leave anonymous posts without any way to contact you.
  • Please US entries only.
  • To get extra credit :
    • For an extra entry :
    • Bloggers - Blog about this contest and leave me the link on your comment, or add me to your sidebar and let me know its there.
    • Non Bloggers (or bloggers) subscribe to my mailing list/RSS feed and earn another entry!
    • Let people know about the giveaway on Twitter with a link to the giveaway!
    • TWO extra credit per person. Please post your extra credit in a separate post.
    • This contest will end May 15th at midnight!

75 Comments:

Debs Desk said...

Wow - If I were dying I would want to spend all the time I could with my son and Daughter. To make it go smooter I would talk to them alot, so they would not be scared. Please include me in your giveaway.
Thanks
Debbie
debdesk9@verizon.net

mverno said...

i would do whatever i could. mverno@roadrunner.com

THEDOGLADY said...

THAT IS A TOUGH ONE. I ALWAYS TELL MY FAMILY IF I WERE A HORSE THEY WOULD OF SHOT ME ALONG TIME AGO TO PUT ME OUT OF MY MISARY. FIBRO/LUPUS SUCKS
WELL I WOULD GET UP BREATH HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE, PLAY WITH DOGS AND MAKE SURE I TOLD EVERYONE I LOVED THEM.AND IF I FORGET ANYONE I WILL CATCH UP WITH THEM ANOTHER DAY. UPSTAIRS. LOL

Helen S said...

I would spend as much time with my family that I could. I would also write my children letters that they could read later, as they got older.
helencutie06@aol.com

Helen S said...

I subscribe.
helencutie06@aol.com

Ellen C. said...

I would definitely make sure my husband had all of the finances in order. I would make sure my parents would be there for my son and husband. And I would make it known to both of them how much I love them both.

sweetascandy579 at yahoo dot com

Ellen C. said...

I'm a subscriber.

sweetascandy579 at yahoo dot com

jceko77 said...

I would move my family into a new home and make tapes for my 3 daughters who are ages 5 and under
jceko77@yahoo.com

jceko77 said...

I am a subscriber
jceko77@yahoo.com

*~Dani~* said...

I would write long love notes to each one sharing favorite memories and how I felt about each one of them.

5webs said...

I have a three-year-old, a two-year-old, and a one-year-old, so I would have my husband video tape my every waking moment, so that there would be a lot of footage for the kids to remember me by. I already have tons of letters for them, but I would write a lot more and say everything that I feel still needs to be said.
Alicia Webster
5webs@comcast.net

MOMFOREVERANDEVER said...

write letters and take photos- you know it could happen to any of us at anytime so be prepared a little now

MOMFOREVERANDEVER said...

subscriber

furygirl3132 said...

If I found out I was dying I would spend all my last days with my family especially my kids doing things with them and making them happy. I would also write letters everyday and buy a video camera to tape things for them, but most of all I would tell them I love them each and everyday as I do now. Thanks so much for such a wonderful giveaway, sounds like a great and heartwrenching book.

Eloise
furygirl3132[at]comcast[dot]net

furygirl3132 said...

I am also an email subscriber!

Eloise
furygirl3132[at]comcast[dot]net

furygirl3132 said...

I am also following you on Twitter (furygirl3132) and I tweeted: http://twitter.com/furygirl3132/status/1503782157

Eloise
furygirl3132[at]comcast[dot]net

deedleweedle said...

This sounds very interesting and probably the way I would act in that situation!

randio said...

I'd rent a huge house on the beach & have my family gather there with me to have a wonderful goodbye party! No tears, no being sad, just lots of talk & laughter & ice cream! Then I'd return home & quietly say goodbye to my life.

sito50 said...

I don't think I'd tell them till it was something they could figure out on their own. I'd leave journals for those I love filled with what they mean to me and my memories -- stories they can pass down. I'd also arrange my own death ceremony: There will be dancing!

sito50 said...

E-mail subscriber.

sito50 said...

Tweeted - http://twitter.com/sito50/status/1504589878

MaggieM said...

First I'd make sure my husband had a handle on the finances and our records and then I'd make him promise to abide by my final wishes and not buckle under any family pressure. I would leave a journal for my child and my grand children, assuring them that I will always be there for them in their time of need and to think of my death as a new beginning, on a different level, and not the end of "me". I would make videos of me speaking to each family member one on one and leave them the scrapbooks and memory albums I have made over the years. My Will would be in order so I could leave some of my possessions to specific family members. I also like the idea of renting a large beach cottage where my family and I could spend my last days together, enjoying each other.

maggie@mannwieler.com

MaggieM said...

I'm a subscriber by email :)

maggie@mannwieler.com

rockymountain_brown said...

Thanks for the chance.
If I were dying I would live my life to the fullest, and truly love my friends and family.

Carol Lawrence said...

With 6 kids and 15 grandkids this is something thats coming and no one wants to think about. I hope for the alternative where it just happens and you don't have to deal with the feelings of the ones you leave behind.

Carol Lawrence said...

Yahoo reader subscriber. jelly15301@gmail.com

Carrie said...

Honestly, I think I'd ditch the computer, cell phone, television, landline, etc. and just really be 'there'.

Carrie
mountainrailway at gmail dot com

Sunnyvale said...

Aside from spending more time with them all, I would do as much as I could to leave them an uncluttered home to make the disposal of property easier and get the photograph album up to date.

She Became A Butterfly said...

i would record tapes for each of my children's/family member's bdays or at least a goodbye message they could hold onto.

she
pookielocks at ymail dot com

She Became A Butterfly said...

tweeted:
http://twitter.com/SheBAButterfly/status/1511778488

she

She Became A Butterfly said...

blogged:
http://www.shebecameabutterfly.net/?p=2440

she

Deborah Wellenstein said...

I would love to read this-thank you!

Brooke said...

omg this intrigues me.

I would cry a lot. I don't even know that I could function knowing that I was going to die and not see my kids grow up. I would love to say that I would take care of everything, but gah. I don't know if I could.

Brooke said...

Google reader subscriber - babbling-brooke@hotmail.com

tatertot374 said...

I would write letters and take lots of pictures. THank you!
tatertot374@sbcglobal.net

Tig said...

Wooo Hooo Make me a winner!

Sara and Alex said...

I would make videos for my daughters milestones so she knows I am with her

Sara and Alex said...

subscribe RSS

Sara and Alex said...

tweeted it http://twitter.com/SaraMama/status/1522531760

Leane said...

Very sobering! and scary too.....
I would love to read this. I think if I was dying, I (also) would try to lay out plans for my family and I would try to take away the chaos caused by it being unexpected.

http://my-bloggy-mind.blogspot.com/
webleane{at}yahoo{dot}com

Leane said...

I have your 7dogs button and the birthday button on my sidebar...

http://my-bloggy-mind.blogspot.com/
webleane{at}yahoo{dot}com

Thank you for the chance to win.

Leane said...

I'm a loyal 7 dogs subscriber

http://my-bloggy-mind.blogspot.com/
webleane{at}yahoo{dot}com

Nicole Feliciano said...

I would work on creating memories. That's the best we can give our kids. Thanks for this great contest.

jbubolz-miller said...

I would quit my job for sure and move closer to family!

jbubolz-miller said...

subscriber

Nickolay said...

This sounds like a great book. Thanks for the chance

jason@allworldautomotive.com

Smooshy said...

I'd spend a lot more time with everyone and not let anyone know until the time started to get close.

Katrina said...

I would spend as much time as possible with my husband and daughter and make sure all finances were in order.

amweeks said...

This is such a hard question. But I would talk with my children a lot to prepare them & let them know that they would be fine & just to continue doing what they do best & that I would miss them very much...

amweeks said...

I subscribe!

Marianna said...

I deal with death and dying every day in my job as an ICU nurse but I have never given much thought to my own death/mortality. I think I'd quit my job, quit worrying about the little things and just try and suck every last minute of time I had left up with my family.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to read this book. I'd definitely spend as much time as I could with my family, enjoying every minute. I'd also write individual letters to each person letting them know how much they mean to me.
-Terra H.
partymix25(at)hotmail(dot)com

Anonymous said...

I'm an e-mail subscriber.
-Terra H.
partymix25(at)hotmail(dot)com

susan1215 said...

I would spent time with them, write letters and make a video

Jessilyn82 said...

I don't have a family, but I would probably make arrangements to donate what I have to charity so it could do some good to people who can truly use the help

Jessilyn82 said...

I subscribe

Paige said...

wow. That's a serious subject. I would try to make sure everyone knew how to do everything that I do, that my husband knew where the accounts were and how to pay the bills, and I would spend every minute I could with my family.

ktgonyea said...

Very serious subject. I'd quit my job and spend every last second with my family.

ktgonyea at gmail.com

Debbie Criss said...

Every ones going to die. Why change your life only when you know times getting closer. I live life how I want to live it now. I hope to live another 30-40 years. During that time I will have lived my life to the fullest.Please enter me, thank you

Tammy Marshall said...

I wouldn't do anything different than I do now. I wouldn't want to be "fake" or pretend and have them remember me that way. I would remain true to myself and my family.

LayDeeBugLove@aol.com

chromiumman said...

i'd write letters to family members

Web said...

You are tough, that is a serious subject. I would hope they could find peace

weblynx at hotmail.com

mindy said...

just live each day to its fullest thanks for the giveaway minsthins at optonline dot net

turboterp said...

What a terrible thing to ponder... I guess I would try to create as many happy memories as I could while I was healthy enough to do so. Thanks!

tatertot374 said...

Thank you for a great giveaway! I would leave notes for everyone. Thank you
tatertot374@sbcglobal.net

liane66 said...

I would write letters to my loved ones with some thoughts that I wanted to share with them on special days in their live.
Thanks for the giveaway!
Kimspam66(at)yahoo(dot)com

Erma said...

I would love the chance to win, thanks.
erma.hurtt@sbcglobal.net

traymona said...

I'd get all the laundry finished (who needs to worry about washing clothes to have something to wear to a funeral) and get the house really clean( I wouldn't want people to think I was dirty even after I was dead).
traymona[at]aol.com

Marie said...

I would spend as much time as possible with my two kids and write down everything that I would want to say to them as they grow up.

marielay@gmail.com

kathy pease said...

i would write each one a letter letting them know how much they mean to me :)

Tammy said...

My aunt died at the end of April after a battle of ALS she knew it was comming and was already for and she had all of her affairs in order I dont know she did it,I however was so sad to say goodbye and was not ready

Anonymous said...

I would write letters to my children and siblings. I would arrange as many details as possible for my death and estate.
acptuser(at)hotmail(dot)com

Donna said...

I would make sure my kids were well cared for.
donna444444@yahoo.com

Donna said...

I am a subscriber.
donna444444@yahoo.com

Betty C said...

Naturally I would get all my financial affairs in order then I would make sure I get rid of all the clutter I've accumulated over the years. I would consult with my children to see what they want and get rid of the rest.

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